Thursday, April 12, 2012

Parenting Adult Children

     Moms, have you ever wondered why your 27 year old son is so focused on moving up the career ladder when at 22 your daughter talks no stop about having a family.  Well if you have, this one is for you.  Most men are brought up focused on working and more “men” types of roles.  We have them help cut wood and mow yards and work in the garage.  It is not surprising that when they are older, the number one focus is a career.  Young men seem to think that the path to success is having a great career and achieving as much as they can through the wok place.  Now let’s think about your daughter.  She always helped you with the dishes and cooking and more than likely her first job was babysitting.  She played the more “women” types of roles when she was a young girl.  When she finishes school, her main focus on how to be successful is based on the more domestic types of goals.  She may want a family and that life is completely fulfilling to her.
     Let’s skip ahead to when your children hit their thirties.  These focus areas of how to be successful and feeling fulfilled almost reverses.  Your son has accomplished so much in is work, he is going to start thinking that there might be something more out there he wants.  He might look for a more stable relationship and move on toward family life with children.  It seems at this stage, he has been able to fulfill both sides of the spectrum.  The same goes for your daughter at this stage.  Her children are older and she will start to think about her career more.  She has spent most of her adult life, so far, being a mom or a wife, and now she will start to feel like she wants something more; a more fulfilling career.
     As parents, we worry about our children every time we breathe.  This is one area we can stop worrying.  Our sons and daughters will follow a path, although a different one, and end up with what they want and feel great about it.  It takes some time and now that we know this, we should give our sons and daughters less grief about the choices they make.  So take a breath and let nature run it’s course.
Samantha York


  1. I feel like it's hard for some of our grandparents generation to see our generation not taking the same traditional paths of boys doing boy things and girls doing girl things. -Jennifer Hancock

  2. I think this is such great advice. Although I am sure it is hard for parents to just take a breath and let nature run its course, it is so true. Women are "supposed" to be the ones that want the family, and the men are the ones that are "supposed" to have the good career to support his family-later on when he is ready for that.
    -Elisabeth Arnold