Friday, April 20, 2012

My wife’s split dream - David Adams

We see the mainline theory of Levinson’s Seasons of Life and what dreams young adults have. We see this all over society in this generation and in the ones that came before it. Young men desire to embark on a journey to increase themselves and to climb the corporate ladder while women are desiring to get married and raise a family.  Not all people flow along their gender based guidelines of this theory, but it seems true for most of us.  Now Cassie and I seem to be the exception to the rule in some things, and this is no different.  When career minded women like Cassie want to have both a family and pursue career interests, Levinson calls this The “Split Dream”. Career minded women tend to have lots of frustration since they seem conflicted as to what they should pursue. Cassie knew every last detail of her wedding right down to the color of the cake and the style of the procession.  All that was missing was the man!  She has also always been career oriented, constantly learning excelling in every position she has attained. She was diligent in her studies and got her degree and her manJ.  As children came along, it was sometimes difficult to decide which goal to pursue at that time.  Due to nature of our society, she has worked hard to find the balance between trying to be a mom and being a career woman. Spoken like a true MBA in Finance, she “Weighs the Opportunity Cost” of each decision.  She asks the question, “Will my career minded decision be detrimental toward my family, and consequently, will my family minded decision be detrimental to my career”. She states it is sometimes a very thin tightrope to walk.  At over thirty years of age she is now where she wants to be both in her career and in her family life. Although not spending enough time with her family is always weighing heavy on her mind. 


  1. Thank you for sharing this personal experience with us. I believe that this dilemma or feeling of being spread thin is a typical feeling among women present day. More and more family have become dual working families so women rarely have the luxury of being a stay at home wife, as well as with work and education opportunities becoming more equal, do they necessarily want to. We are beginning to see more and more women go back to school while starting a family to have a better career to help provide for their growing families. And with single mothers on the rise as well for women the nuclear family is a thing of the past and split dreams is the way of life. ~ Ashleigh Sayles

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  3. I can definitely relate to this post. I am only 21 years old, and I have already started thinking about what I am going to do when children come along. I have been married for about 7 months now, and have realized that at some point in my life I do want to be a mom. But I also want to work as a social worker. I did not pick this major for the money, but for the possibility to make a difference in someone's life. It will be interesting to see what happens when my husband and I start having children.
    Kelsea Bedford