Sunday, April 15, 2012

Letting Go

As your child grows up they will go through many different stages. One of those final stages is going to be adulthood. It can either be them leaving home for college or just moving out in general and taking on the world without you by their side. This can be a very difficult time in a parents life, your baby is growing up and you are probably feeling like you are no longer needed. This transitioning time in life can also be bittersweet, you are proud of them for making the transition to be a successful individual, but at the same time you are losing them due to their independence. Here are some helpful tips for you as parents to adjust and work through this emotional time. 
- Realize that even though your child is gone and starting their life, you are still their parent and always will be. Nothing will change that. 
- After your child moves out, make sure to give yourselves time to adjust to them being gone by re-adjusting your focus from them to yourselves. You can do this by picking up a hobby that you have been wanting to do but just haven't had the time. 
- Considering your child has an agenda of their own now, it will be possible that you are going to have to figure out ways to fit in their schedule. Be sure to respect their interests and understand what is important to them. 
- Even though your child is not longer under your roof, you can still advise and aim them in the right direction, but make sure not to push or pressure them. 
- Make sure and understand that it is normal to have anxiety and have a feeling of loss. 
Overall, this is a normal transition that most parents go through. Once you come to the realization that your child has left the nest, just focus on how to stay active and how to make your life exciting. This new phase of your life has plenty of things to offer, you just need to get out and experience them. :) 

April Wiland 


  1. Very good advice! I think this is all really awesome advice to give to a parent during this transitional stage. I couldn't have said it better myself! :) -Jennifer Hancock

  2. When are you an adult?

    Adulthood is a culturally driven phase of life. Different people reach adulthood at different times. Legally, adulthood begins when a person turns 18. That is when you get all of the rights of an adult. Different families see it differently. I think that adulthood starts with responsibility. A person is considered to be an adult when he/she has taken on the responsibility of taking care of him/herself. It is very possible for a 16 year old to not have the legal rights of an adult but be considered an adult if that person is living on their own, working at a job, paying their own bills and taking care of themselves without the help of their parents. It is also possible for a 30 year old to still live at home, not contribute to the house financially and not have any responsibility in the home. I would not consider this person to be an adult. Then there is everything in between. That is where early adulthood comes it. Early adulthood is the transition between being a fully dependent child that has your parents making all the decisions for you and taking care of you, to being an adult that makes all of the decisions for yourself and takes care of yourself. This transition lasts different lengths of time for just about everybody. And everyone’s situation is unique.

    Amanda Tompkins

  3. It is a great time to experience those dreams that you have had on hold. Go on vacation to that favorite place you could not afford with children in the house, take up a new hobby that you have been wanting to experience, read that book that you felt like you have not had time for. There is so much for you to explore again. Have fun learning what that is and allow your child the space they desire to become who they want to be. ~Kori Bower

  4. Kori,

    That is such great advice to parents who have children that are grown and out of the house. I dream of when my children are grown and all the things I want to do, but can't or feel as though I can't having children. This should be an exciting time for parents, a time for self exploration and maybe even rekindling old flames in their marriage.
    Emma Bukowski