Discipline is a topic that parents often discuss with other parents. Most of the time they wonder if what they are doing to discipline their child is right or if there are better ways. The best thing you can do as a parent before ever having to discipline your child is to behave the way you want them to behave. The child will see a good example of how their parents handle a situation and often repeat the action. When it comes to disciplining a child, it seems like there is something new said every week (i.e. spanking is awful, spanking can work in certain situations, etc.). In this post, some basic principles and ideas about discipline will be discussed, with examples given from time to time. First off, types of discipline will be discussed. Every parent should tailor how they discipline a child to the particular child, since no two children are alike. Ideas for types of discipline are time outs (remember: one minute for every year, such as 3 minutes for a 3 year old), taking away a favorite item for a period of time, letting the child know what they did was wrong and explaining what they should have done, redirecting the child to another positive activity, etc. Remember: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER resort to spanking your child under ANY circumstances! Some research has shown that when parents spank their children, the kids think its acceptable behavior to hit others. Another big no-no to remember when disciplining your children is to never raise your tone of voice. Kids can tell the difference in a parent’s tone of voice (be it sounding authoritative like a parent or yelling like a prison guard) and will react in an appropriate, or sometimes inappropriate, manner. Make sure that you and your partner discuss how to discipline your child before an issue ever occurs and then remain consistent with your disciplining. Lastly, remember to give your child the appropriate attention needed, set limits, but support and encourage them as they explore and learn about their environment. With these ground rules, discipline should hardly be an issue between you and your child.
Katie Meehan
First of all I believe each child is different and different methods can be used to correct inappropriate behavior. As to say NEVER NEVER NEVER use spanking as a method, I disagree. I believe there are times when a spanking consisting of a single swap on the bottom or a slight tap on the hand can be useful training. I come from a family where this type of discipline has been used for generations. It is also combined with other methods and is always explained to the child why they are being disciplined. I NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER had a problem with any of my boys being a bully, hitting other kids, etc. The fact is, my boys were very compassionate to other children, they shared their toys, they offered to help people, etc. They have always been complemented their whole lives as being very curtious and outstanding children and now outstanding men. I am very proud of my boys, and I guess it is in spite of the spankings they got as kids. I would add, you should NEVER NEVER NEVER BEAT A CHILD FOR ANY REASON, at least this is what the studies found, and I agree. - Sam Dillé
ReplyDeleteSam--Perhaps I should have said what you did in my post rather then never to ever spank a child. When I said that, I was repeating what Dr. John said in class and what the popular media report. I personally don't condone the practice of swatting a child once or spanking there hand. This was done to me as a child and I turned out fine.
ReplyDeleteRevised statement--spanking is an okay practice for parents, so long as it isn't excessive, say to the point of beating a child. Parents must know their limits before disciplining a child and act within them.
Katie Meehan
PS--I think I addressed disciplining children differently in my post, towards the beginning.
Katie, I enjoyed reading your views on discipline and we will be talking about this some more next week. But what you say is so true - loss of previleges is far more effective and beneficial than harsh forms of discipline such as spanking. Chelsea has made a similar point in her post. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAesha
I was spanked as a child. I do not have any residual affects from it. However, I did not spank my children. There are just so many more alternatives. When my girls were small, we used redirection most of the time. Even at a year old when the girls would try to push buttons on the television, we would just move them to something just as or more intriguing than the television buttons. Eventually, they left the television alone. It does take a lot of persistence and energy to direct them to something else. When the kids were older, we took away priviledges and used time out. My girls hated timeout because they had to go set on the stairs. I just feel like spanking is degrading to children. I also think that if a child is hit, they will think that hitting is the only way to resolve an issue.
ReplyDeleteSusan Davis