Social and Emotional Development in infants

------Nkechi Anyanwu
through the first year of life , infants grow tremendously at a fast rate. they babble coo and cry to communicate pain , fear disconnect or loneliness. They love to be touched and held close, therefore experts encourage parents or caregivers to cuddle them frequently and provide objects for infants to feel, touch, mouth and explore. By four months infants begin to return a smile. Therefore parents are encouraged to help infants develop a sense of trust and security by responding to their cries. When parents do this and are consistent with it, it encourages the infant to want to try new things and help them develop a sense of self worth and security.
The first year of life is also when infants are starting to develop their senses, therefore scholars recommend that parents or caregivers expose babies to bright colors and a variety of objects to look at. They are encouraged to provide environment rich with sound (such as house hold sounds), provide opportunities for infants to smell different smells and expose them to different taste and temperatures in food. Some parents are sensitive when it comes to exposing their infants to different environments especially exposure to taste and smell. For instance, when my nephew was born, my brothers wife was obsessed with decorating the whole house with only baby products and baby scents (this is her first baby). Household chores such as cleaning (vacuuming, dusting, washing with heavy detergents such as bleach/ammonia), and cooking would have to be done only when the baby is not around because she thought that was what was suitable for the baby's environment. Not only did it inconvenience those of us who lived in the same house, but after reading articles for social and emotional development of infants i can see that those household items and chores that she didn't want around the baby are actually suitable for the baby's development. Not only are they suitable for the baby's development, in fact some those articles states that baby's actually enjoy smelling tree bark, dirt, grass, and other natural things. And these exposures also help them develop an appropriate immune system.

ADULTHOOD

At some point in our lives we all have to go through this. Whether it is you, who is the child leaving for college or you, the parent who feels left behind. Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do as a parent and exciting for the child, finally branching out on our own. Parents have positive relationships with their grownup children because their “letting go” process was gradual. When it is finally time for you to let go try to make sure you have things to do. If all you have ever done is cared for your children and you come home to nothing you will begin to feel nostalgic and this situation can quickly become sad and distressing. But, if you have a job and other activities to come home to parents can then accept their new status.

 I don’t know about you but my mother definitely has had a hard time letting go, I guess this is really why I wanted to write this. She feels since she is the “Mom” and any advice she gives I automatically have to do, no if and’s or but’s about it. When the unavoidable end of the relationship finally comes, authority declines significantly. Sustained communication, contact, and affection make for a small event when the separation occurs. A study in New Zealand shows that, “parents who had been warm and supportive in middle childhood and adolescence were more likely to experience contact and closeness with their child in early adulthood (Belsky et al, 2001).

            So, when it does come time to drop your baby girl off to college, just remember, she is on her way to everything you want her to be. And now you will be able to go on that great cruise you wanted to go on. Who knows? The change of your relationship can be you closer than it has ever been.

Jackie Raio

When are you an Adult?

Adulthood is a culturally driven phase of life. Different people reach adulthood at different times. Legally, adulthood begins when a person turns 18. That is when you get all of the rights of an adult. Different families see it differently. I think that adulthood starts with responsibility. A person is considered to be an adult when he/she has taken on the responsibility of taking care of him/herself. It is very possible for a 16 year old to not have the legal rights of an adult but be considered an adult if that person is living on their own, working at a job, paying their own bills and taking care of themselves without the help of their parents. It is also possible for a 30 year old to still live at home, not contribute to the house financially and not have any responsibility in the home. I would not consider this person to be an adult. Then there is everything in between. That is where early adulthood comes it. Early adulthood is the transition between being a fully dependent child that has your parents making all the decisions for you and taking care of you, to being an adult that makes all of the decisions for yourself and takes care of yourself. This transition lasts different lengths of time for just about everybody. And everyone’s situation is unique.

Amanda Tompkins

Transitioning through Adulthood- Ashleigh Sayles

 Feeling like you do not know which direction your life is heading in? 

 Are you at that point when you must start making more permanent life decisions?

 According to Erikson's theory by the time a person reaches adulthood the controversy is intimacy versus isolation. People's form of intimacy is a progression from their style of attachment in earlier life. How individuals interact with the important people in their lives is something that typically stays constant throughout the lifespan. Although isolation may not be the primary goal for any person, at times people find themselves without an intimate partner for various reasons. Commonly, most people say that adulthood brings on the question of family versus career. In a lot of ways the 2 statements are not only correct but similar. Intimacy is something that comes strongly in adulthood for picking a permanent mate. Although, for men and women the age that this becomes a major decision is different, family and reproduction typically is a big step for all adults. A theorist named Levinson defines these different stages for men and women as the “seasons of life.” Through this theory he shows that in their 20's men are more focused on making secure career decisions. While women struggle with whether to focus their career or starting a family. By the time, these same individuals reach their 30's men are now the one's searching for a life partner and the women are trying to define themselves apart from their family through education or employment. These major decisions in life are one's that all adults face and must transition past to reach the next level of maturity. -Ashleigh Sayles

Adulthood

Adulthood

by Susan Davis

           Parenting adult children requires a different set of communication skills than it took when they were younger. Patterns of behavior from childhood, especially response patterns, tend to remain. One of my children solicits advice. The other does not want advice. What do you do when you see your adult children making choices you think are wrong? They believe they are invincible. They also believe that their parents do not want them to have any fun. Young adults believe, “parents just do not understand.” How do you get a young adult to listen to your well- meaning advice? When will they stop having negative reactions to the advice given by parents? I ask my daughters if they want to hear my suggestions. If they say “no” or “not really” I just keep my suggestions to myself. Usually, they will bring the subject back up at a later time and ask for my advice. Sometimes they use my suggestions and sometimes they do not. It is hard to be patient and let them make their own decisions. At times, they have to learn from their own mistakes just like we did. Experience is not always the best teacher, but it can be a painful teacher for young adults. Parents give advice because we do not want to see our children make mistakes. There are some positive things we can do to parent our young adult children:

1)      Pray, Pray, and Pray.

2)      Do not let them use you for financial support. This will make them more financially-independent and resilient than their friends who have parents to lean on.

3)      Be an ally and just listen.

4)      Do not offer advice every time you talk to them. Let them ask for it.

5)      Do not try to be there best friend, be the parent.

6)      Offer support and encouragement.

Just remember young adults are still going through a great deal of changes. They are possibly still in college, forming intimate relationships, or going to work. Young adults usually want to make these decisions on their own, after all they are now “grownup.”

Letting Go

As your child grows up they will go through many different stages. One of those final stages is going to be adulthood. It can either be them leaving home for college or just moving out in general and taking on the world without you by their side. This can be a very difficult time in a parents life, your baby is growing up and you are probably feeling like you are no longer needed. This transitioning time in life can also be bittersweet, you are proud of them for making the transition to be a successful individual, but at the same time you are losing them due to their independence. Here are some helpful tips for you as parents to adjust and work through this emotional time. 

- Realize that even though your child is gone and starting their life, you are still their parent and always will be. Nothing will change that. 

- After your child moves out, make sure to give yourselves time to adjust to them being gone by re-adjusting your focus from them to yourselves. You can do this by picking up a hobby that you have been wanting to do but just haven't had the time. 

- Considering your child has an agenda of their own now, it will be possible that you are going to have to figure out ways to fit in their schedule. Be sure to respect their interests and understand what is important to them. 

- Even though your child is not longer under your roof, you can still advise and aim them in the right direction, but make sure not to push or pressure them. 

- Make sure and understand that it is normal to have anxiety and have a feeling of loss. 

Overall, this is a normal transition that most parents go through. Once you come to the realization that your child has left the nest, just focus on how to stay active and how to make your life exciting. This new phase of your life has plenty of things to offer, you just need to get out and experience them. :) 

April Wiland 

When Should College Students Consider Getting Help with their Problems?

When Should College Students Consider Getting Help with their Problems? -------Nkechi Anyanwu

  Researchers say that college students experience more stress and are more depressed today than in the past. Academic circumstances are said to create the most stress for students such as tests and finals, grades and competition, professors and class environment, too many demands, papers, career and future success. Personal circumstances said to cause the most stress for students are relationships, finances, parental conflicts and expectations, and roommate conflicts. These daily events and life hassles clearly wear out ones coping skills at a certain point and can also affect the student’s health. The effects involve the classic fight and flight response with all the psychological attendant behavior such as, raised blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, impaired immune function, GI track problems, and so on.   

    One should consider getting help when psychological stress lingers and interferes with the person’s sense of wellbeing and ability to function, feelings that one is unable to cope effectively, hopelessness or depressed feelings, and when one starts to experience physical symptoms that have no underlying cause.  

      Talking to someone when things are bothering them is one of the most effective ways of handling stress. When talking to someone about the problems, some people may prefer to join support groups or individual counseling; some may do better with career planning and relationship workshops. The student should find out what services works better for him/her and address the problem immediately. Furthermore, when fostering a healthy adult life, some things that can help buffer stress are; exercise, engaging in healthy eating and maintain a reasonable body weight, control alcohol intake and avoid smoking, and engage in responsible sexual behaviors.