Flourishing into Adolescence

Turbulent.  Disturbing.  Challenging.  Dramatic.  Conflicting.  Hormonal.  Irritable.  Welcome to adolescence! 

Adolescence: the transitional period of time from youth to adulthood.  It’s during this time that a young person transitions into an independent individual mentally and a maturing adult physically. 

The best advice I could give parents with adolescent children is very broad but very important:  stay open minded.  Teens today are not experiencing the same events and culture that their parents did.  Teens are exposed to much more adult matters than probably should, but there’s no way around it.  Parents should be aware of the toxins surrounding today’s youth.  I encourage anybody with children to be educated on eating disorders, depression, alcohol/drug abuse, law breaking, sexual orientation, sex, peer pressure or other significant adolescent issues.  By being educated and open minded on such topics will make teenagers feel more comfortable to talk to adults about these important issues.  Being educated is important because if teens come to you with questions, they want legitimate advice.  Giving inaccurate advice could result in a skewed formation of reality.  Keeping an open dialog with your children can sequence into a healthy understanding of life as they transition into adulthood.
-Jennifer Hancock

Teens and Sex- What Works?

Growing up in a small, very religious town, my high school offered abstinence only sex education. Of course, at the time, we didn't know that. Our health teacher, the girls' P.E. teacher, taught us about condoms. To this day I remember what we were taught, although I now doubt the truth of any of it. We were taught that condoms were a marketing scheme, that they didn't actually work for anything. All STDs, especially AIDS could get through the holes in them and if that was the case they would never work on Sperm.

Now, as an adult I can see that these tactics were used to encourage abstinence until marriage, but I did not, and I assume my peers didn't, understand that concept. I believe a lot of times we give teens more credit to connect the information together than they are capable of. Teens do not develop the cognitive abilities to create those concepts in their head until they are 15 or older and sex education needs to be focused on younger ages. Research shows that in countries where sex is more widely discussed and explained to teens, especially contraceptive options and access to them, there are fewer teen pregnancies and abortions which allows the teen more opportunities to succeed. As parents, all we want if to see our children succeed in life. So put on your big kid shoes and jump into the world of educating your teen about sex and all that goes with it. If you don't know it, be honest and open and have them help you find the answer. Yes, it is going to be awkward at first, for both of you, but just keep pushing through and you will make it. 

To this day, I am still scared to use condoms. I understand the inaccurate information I was taught and have learned since then, but still choose other methods of contraceptives. Don't let your child be afraid of their options like I was. Education is knowledge.

Hannah Neely

Peer Pressure and Adolescence

Unfortunately peer pressure is a common occurrence among adolescence aged kids today. Everywhere you turn, be it a news channel, social media or the paper, it seems there is almost always a story about peer pressure affecting an individual and their family. Peer pressure can come from a variety of sources for adolescents, be it wanting to fit in, pressure to conform to a group (like “brains”, “jocks”, “cool kids”), wanting to be part of a clique, crowd norms, etc. Another major source of peer pressure for adolescents is the media and the insane amount of attention they give to celebrities. This can pressure an adolescent to conform to what is “popular” at any given time. The biggest form of peer pressure put on adolescents, especially girls, is the idea that being thin and stick-like is the new definition for pretty. This idea is slowly falling out of the mainstream however, thanks to campaigns like Dove’s Real Beauty. Peer pressure is not limited or unique to certain crowds and the media however. Pressure can also come from bullies and that pressure isn’t limited to the school environment anymore like it was in the past. Bullies are now pressuring their targets through several different avenues in addition to school hours.  Some examples are through cell phone messages and through social media sites such as Facebook. Adolescents are no longer able to escape the pressure and taunting of bullies, unlike in the past where it never left the school grounds. Currently, laws are being introduced and passed to prevent and protect children from bullies and peer pressure, but change starts on the individual and family level. If someone is a target of peer pressure, get a referral to a counselor or talk to another trusted adult about what is going on. Parents should talk with their children often and have an open line of communication on all topics. Remember, change starts with one person. Society has the power to decrease, or even eliminate, the effects of peer pressure on today’s adolescents and youth. 

-Katie Meehan

Lisa Johnson on middle childhood

Modeling:
As children develop emotionally and socially in middle childhood, they also mature physically, cognitively, and their social relationships with family and peers also mature and change as well. During this turbulent time of middle childhood, peer friendships take on a more prominent role than ever before, and can include friends at school, in the neighborhood, teammates, and siblings close in age. Communication and cognitive skills continue to improve, white middle childhood children developing increased interpersonal awareness skills, as a result, becoming improved at reading and responding to others, understanding others’ intentions and needs, and why they behave the way the do. These social skills lay the foundation for the formation of closer friendships.

During this adjustment period, is when middle childhood adolescents begin to take on some key components of adult relationships and the dynamics of friendships begin to take on new dynamics. These include mutual regard for another’s individual personality, abilities, and behavior. They grow closer together because they learn to respect on another, in the form of the other child’s kindness, humor, loyalty, fearlessness, and intellect. Mutual trust and willingness to support each other are the cornerstones of these friendships.

This is where modeling comes into play, Modeling is when the children learn from someone else, such as their parent, adult, older sibling or role model. If these “models” have positive relationships with their peers, the children will more than likely develop the same type of positive relationships as well. It is human nature for people to form relationships in some fashion, so it is imperative that adults and others set up a positive environment for children to follow. Bandura illustrates how modeling is extremely important in childrens’ lives by stating that a positive environment for a child to follow is healthy and one of the important steps in development.

A prime example would be a young male person who had many friends in early childhood age group, but as he matured, his group of peers narrowed down to two or three close friends who have much in common. They have learned to respect each other and understand the boundaries of limitations each young middle age child presents.

Lisa Johnson on Emotional and Social Development

The emotional and social development of infants and toddlers begin from birth and spans to three years of age. This is the time where this age group develops the foundation for all social interactions. They experience feelings and emotions for the very first time and it is up to the parents and other adults in their lives to model and teach them how to react and behave socially.

From birth to one year of age, they learn to communicate by expressing their needs through crying, laughing, and eye contact. Twelve to twenty-four months of age, these young toddlers use parallel play where they will not interact directly with other children, rather they play side-by-side with others. During the second year up to twenty-six months, the older toddler should develop the ability of interacting with others among their own age group and in pretend play. By the age of three, the toddler begins to actively use their imagination and together, develop stories. They will begin to clearly state their own feelings and wants by using imaginary play.

From birth to the age of three, there are humongous social changes in both social and emotional development in children. Parents and others that interact with infants and toddler can positively impact them through appropriate social and emotional interactions. This can be achieved by providing words for talking about feelings and expressing them verbally. Other avenues would be to introduce videos and books that teach children appropriate behaviors and manners. An adult should respond by modeling proper behavior and by gently redirecting the child’s actions. By demonstrating with both verbal and physical instructions in a positive way, and by telling them the correct way to act and react, it will give them expectations and guidelines to adhere to.

Conservation

I have a younger sister who is taller than me, and an older sister who is shorter than me. A lot of people get our ages mixed up, most of these people are children. Children have a tendancy to think that whoever is the biggest is the oldest, which most of us know is not necessarily true. This ties into the idea of conservation. Conservation is the ability to understand that certain physical characteristics of objects remain the same even when their outward appearance changes. Consider this, you put the same amount of water into two different glasses. One of the glasses is really short and fat. The other glass is tall and skinny. When you ask your child which glass contains more water, what do you think they will say? The tall one of course! They answer this way because they have not developed this idea of conservation. In their little brains they think that the taller one has more, just like people think that my younger sister is older than me just because she is taller. Children develop this ability of conservation between the ages of 7 and 11. This is just one little step in their development, but it makes a big difference!

Kelsea Bedford

GENDER TYPING DURING MIDDLE CHILDHOOD

When I think of middle childhood I can't help but linger on the issue of gender typing. As parents we play a role in socializing gender, we dress boys and girls differently, select toys based on gender, and often react negatively if they behave in ways they think are gender inappropriate. So I propose this question, if we are on the front lines of shaping thier lives, what could be done to erase these gender lines that are so clearly defined? Masculinity and femininity develop early, Kohlberg's Cognitive Development Theory states that a child notices physical and behavioral cues, the child then finds it rewarding to behave in a gender-appropriate manner and imitate same-gender models. Children, including my own see the example we set before them, they will either want to be just like you or completely opposite you. When you are at home if you have that significant other, share the household responsibility. Let your child see mommy picking up a hammer and putting things together and also let them see daddy doing the dishes, is it really that hard guys? Come on! Your son will see this and in the future will do the same for his significant other. Your daughter could potentially become more self confident and learn how to better choose and wait for the right person. Isn't this what we want for them, to be better than us in every way possible? Let your child play with the things they like to do. If a boy wants to play with dolls, met him play with them. If a girl wants to play toy cars or trucks let her play. Avoid comments like "boys shouldn't play with dolls" or "girls shouldn't play with trucks". Help your child dress up in a way he or she wants to. Try not to be over protective of your girls, and please don't emphasize on her physical appearance. Yes she look uber cute in that pink frilly dress but let her know she is smart and has so many other qualities to work with. Jackie Raio